How to be an Undomestic Goddess
Do you feel pressure to be a domestic goddess? Do you ever think that you’ll never measure up to Martha Stewart or Chrissie Rucker, for those of you on the other side of the pond? Fear not! I’m here to teach you how to be an UN-domestic goddess! These tips and tricks won’t fail you in your quest for imperfection.
Have a Designated Laundry Bed
It is a must that you have a designated laundry bed for overflow. Only witches can sort, wash, dry, fold and put away all in the same day. There needs to be a spot to contain the clean laundry before folding and putting away take place. If they take place. There is no shame in choosing clothes from the laundry bed and wearing them. The wrinkles will fall out eventually. Or see the next tip.
One more thing-it is suggested that the laundry bed not be the marital bed or the bed you sleep in. In a pinch it will do, but as a long term solution a guest bed is a better bet. If you do not have a guest bed, any unused table, desk or couch will do.
Don’t be Averse to the Iron-by-dryer Method
When you choose your clothes from the laundry bed, wrinkles might be a stumbling point. If you have time, you can simply wear the clothes and the wrinkles will fall out. If there is no time to wait, just throw the outfit back into the dryer for a quick tumble. For particularly stubborn wrinkles, dampen a clean wash cloth and toss it in to steam the wrinkles out. Don’t forget to get the clothes out when their touch-up is completed or you’ll be back to square one!
Play the Who Can Pretend to be Asleep the Longest Game
Toddlers awake? Baby crying? Keep those eyes closed and breathe heavily. Not too heavily, mind you. You don’t want to overdo it. Don’t toss or turn. Remain still and don’t let on that you hear. Eventually, the noises coming from the living room will be too much to ignore and your partner will get up to investigate. Slip quickly out of bed and lock the door. Now no one can bother you! Unless of course your three year old learned to pick locks before he was two, but I digress.
Train Your Kids
If you have older kids, awesome! They can help/do pretty much anything you can do. Whether it’s worth the nagging is up to you, but know that they are capable. If you have littles, don’t fret. Two or three might be too young to fold laundry, but anyone can throw underwear and socks in a drawer. My tip is to have designated underwear and sock baskets to simplify things for your kids. My two oldest are essentially the same size, so they share these baskets.
Think your toddler is too young to vacuum? Think again. I have acquired an upright sweeper-essentially a dust-buster with a long handle. It’s light enough that your toddler can use it. Do NOT purchase a play vacuum. Invest in one of these sweepers and convince your tod how fun it is to suck up those pesky dog hairs. Point out all the crumbs they drop at dinner. You only have about five minutes of attention span before they lose interest, so make the most of this time.
Have Two or Three Staple Meals
In your culinary repertoire you should possess two or three meals that are simple to prepare, lend themselves to leftovers and are appreciated by at least 3/4’s of your family. Our staples include spaghetti, big salads, and beans and rice. These three meals easily allow leftovers and most of our family likes them (the baby has yet to inform us of his opinion).
Don’t underestimate the appeal of sandwiches and soup. Canned soup is always acceptable. Also, the crock pot is an undomestic goddess’s best friend. There are so many simple recipes that seem like they take hours to prepare but actually take minutes while the crock pot does all the work. I am interested in learning about the instant pot because it seems to have the simplicity of the crock pot without the planning time involved.
These are but a few of my tips on how to become an undomestic goddess. I have learned these tricks through almost seven years of marriage and almost four years of parenthood. Stay tuned for more advice!